How can I Ask a woman If She’s Lesbian? | HER

Despite more individuals than before feeling liberated to emerge as his or her genuine selves, one common lesbian battle continues to be – determining whether a female is homosexual. Although being queer doesn’t need becoming identified by a ‘look’, it can be specifically difficult to tell when she doesn’t satisfy those ‘stereotypical’ attributes. Should your gaydar is certian off, but you’re nearly specific, there’s a lot of methods for you to begin inquiring some body when they homosexual or perhaps in the LGBTQ+ range.

If you are romantically thinking about this person, it could feel just like a nerve-wracking conversation to bring up. Placing yourself available to choose from is difficult, but it’s only if we step out of one’s comfort areas that people will make contacts with others! In the event that you however can’t deliver you to ultimately ask the big question, “will you be gay or what?” you should not fret. There are lots of a lot more subdued methods approach the main topic of sex.

Keep reading to master how exactly to pose a question to your girl crush if she’s homosexual, together with how to handle it with your response to get things to the next stage.

Download HER application

Only Ask!

The obvious option to ask if a girl is actually homosexual will be simply


– in basic terms. You can easily ask initial, “Could You Be homosexual?,” or a bit more cool, “Hey, i am wondering if you determine as LGBTQ+?”. It could feel uncomfortable to inquire about, but understand there’s absolutely no completely awkward-proof strategy to pop this concern. Having said that, you will besides rip-off the bandaid and finally get your response!

If you should be inquiring personally, perhaps ensure you’re not too near people – she or they could never be comfy announcing their unique reply to depends upon however! Addititionally there is no pity in asking over book if you are discovering it too difficult to bring upwards personally.

Trust all of us! We realize exactly how difficult really to manufacture a move—and should make it a little bit simpler. Whether you are searching for a significant or everyday union, HER lets you take a look at proven pages and get to know some other real queer people (and way safer than a random lesbian chat now)

In addition, recall that you do not fundamentally must know a person’s intimate orientation before inquiring all of them away. Asking people out lacking the knowledge of their unique sexual positioning is a superb method to break-down heteronormative buildings. Should they should go out, they’ll state yes! While maybe not, they’ll say no. It is that simple!

Believe us! We know how hard truly to manufacture a move—and want to make it a little bit simpler. Whether you’re looking for a serious or relaxed connection, HER enables you to check out proven profiles and get to understand some other genuine queer individuals (and means better than a random
lesbian chat)

Definitely, it certainly is vital that you make sure you’re in a safe scenario as an LGBTQIA+ person. However, in case you are vibing together, we are let’s assume that although they aren’t homosexual, they’re supportive on the society. Should you decide find any signs and symptoms of the exact opposite, about you now learn exactly who in order to avoid.

More Subdued Approaches To Ask if She Actually Is A Lesbian

If you do not feel fearless sufficient to clearly ask, we become it. It’s hard to put your self available to you often! Here are some more simple ideas to raise up the topic of queerness:

  • Ask, “Do you realy tune in to woman in reddish?”. Whenever likely know at this point, that is code for ‘do you like ladies?’. If they react with ‘no’ or appear confused, next there is your own response!
  • Explore queer programs/ pop music society. Raise up a queer tv series, like


    L Term

    , and assess their response. If they are in addition obsessed with that demonstrate and start raving about their favored figure, there is a high probability they truly are additionally queer. It is possible to talk about a very common program like


    and have whatever they remember a certain WLW love.
  • Bring up LGBTQ+ dilemmas. Talk about another thing queer-related, like
    LGBTQ+ rights
    , sex problems, or battles to be a lesbian. If they get quite as excited about queer problems, there is likely a very good reason.
  • Turn out in their eyes
    . Reveal your very own sexuality and find out the way they respond. Possible casually mention being a homosexual or queer individual, of course people say, “Oh, me personally too!,” then you’ve cracked the code.
  • Attempt flirting. Testing the seas when you are a little flirty and witnessing what are the results. As long as they start flirting straight back, there’s a good chance they can be additionally queer and liking your own ambiance too!
  • Ask if they’re seeing anyone. You’ll be able to ask if they have a date, gf, or companion to achieve more facts about their matchmaking preferences. If they


    have actually somebody, then you learn they’re used. If you don’t, they might talk about an ex, and get closer to the solution.
  • Ask their own pal. Nevertheless as well bashful to ask all of them in person? You can ask certainly one of people they know up-front if they know their unique sex. This can be certainly the very least anxiety-inducing techniques for getting the response, therefore it is definitely a good option.

Ideally, these discreet methods shall help you determine if for example the crush is gay. Should you however can not get solution, you might have to make use of the first step: simply ask! there is generally no harm in asking, with no issue what happens, at the very least you are going to at long last be aware of the answer.

Can You Imagine She Claims Indeed?

Congrats! The gaydar ended up being appropriate. Today, you’ll determine what you should do subsequent with that details. If you are thinking about seeking all of them furthermore, inquire further out on a date! Although inquiring men and women away can feel embarrassing and/or frightening, progress in pursuing interactions can just only be made once we place our selves around.

If she states ‘no’ to a romantic date, cannot go on it myself. All of us have kinds of and not everyone would like to date– it isn’t really constantly about yourself! About so now you’ve attained a new homosexual pal. Plus, you will never know so what can take place in the near future as you grow to know each other much better.

Imagine If She Is Maybe Not A Lesbian?

If they grow to be right, end up being happy with yourself for losing sight of your safe place and asking.

Keep in mind that probably someone that caused your gaydar isn’t away but – cannot force all of them more when they look uneasy.

When this individual seems uneasy around you in a different way after bringing up homosexuality, it might be an indication they aren’t the sort of person you thought, but now you-know-who to distance yourself from. You deserve feeling enjoyed, accepted, and supported by people near you. Understand there are many lesbians and queer folks out there waiting to fulfill you!


HER will be the dating app allowing you to connect LGBTQ+ ladies and queer individuals. Down load the HER app right now to relate to lesbians in your community and locate your chosen family members.

Get HER app